Are rap and black metal alike?

Rap: Obsessed with "keeping it real", an arbitrary set of rules
Black metal: Obsessed with "staying true", an arbitrary set of rules

Rap: Band members with fake names
Black metal: Band members with fake names

Rap: Complaints about oppression from white Christians
Black metal: Complaints about oppression from white Christians

Rap: Overly concerned with making money
Black metal: Overly concerned with not making money

Rap: Cheesy synthesizers
Black metal: Cheesy synthesizers

Rap: Barely in English
Black metal: Barely in English

Rap: Strong feelings about God
Black metal: Strong feelings about God

Rap: Black skin
Black metal: Black leather

Rap: 100 guest appearances on every album
Black metal: 100 side projects by every band member

Rap: Musicians arrested for murder
Black metal: Musicians arrested for murder

Rap: Closed-minded fanbase
Black metal: Closed-minded fanbase

Rap: Very expensive tennis shoes
Black metal: Very expensive leather boots

Rap: Imagery containing dogs
Black metal: Imagery containing wolves

Rap: Negative portrayals of whites
Black metal: Negative portrayals of Jews

Rap: Rips off samples from pop music
Black metal: Rips off ideas from classical music

Rap: Videos with super-shiny floors and cars
Black metal: Videos with super-shiny swords

Rap: Imagery of the urban jungles
Black metal: Imagery of the bleak forests

Rap: Pride in geographic region
Black metal: Pride in geographic region

Rap: Pride in own race
Black metal: Pride in own race

Rap: Songs about hanging out
Black metal: Songs about hanging people

Rap: Overly concerned with appearance
Black metal: Overly concerned with appearance

Rap: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair
Black metal: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair

Rap: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability
Black metal: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability

Rap: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics
Black metal: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics

Rap: Musicians face accusations of selling out
Black metal: Musicians face accusations of selling out

Rap: Unusual interest in ancestry
Black metal: Unusual interest in ancestry

Rap: Videos with scantily-clad women
Black metal: Promo photos with scantily-clad women

Rap: Booty Calls are a common theme
Black metal: A Call To Arms is a common theme

Rap: Constantly drinking alcohol
Black metal: Constantly drinking alcohol

Rap: Axing people kweshuns
Black metal: Carrying battle axes

Rap: Bitching about being enslaved
Black metal: A bunch of bitches called Enslaved

This is the situation:  There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f**ks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and f**ks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird
instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it,
rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he
sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her. Then he f**ks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f**ks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the last time.

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets
depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of
boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the
princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he
sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.